In #29572, I assumed the revalidation list that the node is contained in could only ever
be changed by the outcome of a revalidation request. But turns out that's not true: if the
node gets removed due to FINDNODE failure, it will also be removed from the list it is in.
This causes a crash.
The invariant is: while node is in table, it is always in exactly one of the two lists. So
it seems best to store a pointer to the current list within the node itself.
